Hindu God Ganesha, remover of obstacles, Lord of beginnings, and patron of writing (among other things).
Writing is Ugly Truth #153
Be Your Own Patron
(There is Something to be Said for NOT Writing for a Living)
During my brief stint as a derby girl (roller, not horses) we were told while training in the Fresh Meat league to appreciate our time there; enjoy the camaraderie because we would never see it again once we were selected for teams.
I recall realizing, almost envisioning, the truth of this advice—not too challenging given that we worked every game and saw firsthand how nasty the teams could get with each other. But I realized a bigger truth as well: We all desire so badly to get beyond the nascent stages of any endeavor, to get Good at The Thing. Yet in many ways the primordial-to-burgeoning phases are the absolute best.
This desire is most obvious in children, upon whom youth is wasted, all they want is to grow up and drive cars and have jobs and “freedom.” That’s what we all think as children, don’t we? That adults have Freedom. If ONLY the adults of the world could make our children comprehend that freedom isn’t eating ice cream for dinner and not having a bedtime, but having time and mental space for play.
I’ve been warned by several people who write for a living that there is a similar to-be-discovered drudgery in (1) having shitloads of other people tell you how your book should be written and (2) being told by these same people when these changes will be made. If you’ve been writing for a minute surely someone has told you, enjoy this first one, you’ll never have this kind of time or freedom again (i.e. after you get a book deal, or sell to the hoards on Amazon who demand the next book in the series yesterday or they will abandon you forever).
As much as I love the idea of writing for a living, I also really dig having complete creative control over my work and the ability to complete it at my leisure. That’s not to say that I don’t get feedback. If you’re at all serious about your craft, you get as much feedback as you can cajole people into giving you. I also pay two professional editors: One for content; another for typos, grammar check etc.
Similarly, I have self-imposed deadlines and, as an Indie Author, actively seek out external deadlines (because: waaaaay more effective). Some examples are contests, critique groups, an open window for submissions, or simply having one of my editors block out their calendar. If I don’t get my work to them on time, they will take someone else’s, and I will need to wait. Few things are as anxiety producing in a writer as WAITING.
I remain largely on my own timeline. I know, again from people who are making livings with their craft, that the rules will change. One author went so far as to claim that nothing you write will ever be as good as the things written before you got a book deal. I question that statement for a whole lot of reasons, but clearly at least at the time, the author had that perception of her own work.
Sometimes I wonder if the reluctance to have harder deadlines and people fussing more intimately with my stories is some self-imposed psychological roadblock. A “limiting thought” akin to those old chestnuts: Fear of Failure, Fear of Success, Fear of Starvation….
But then I remember that I have a day job, actually, and I am in fact quite used to people telling me how to do things and by when. If the time comes, I can and will leverage that practice; these are easily transferable skills. So I’m reluctant for some other reason.
A musician friend of mine said it most eloquently so I will steal his words: There is something to be said for being your own patron. If you are currently doing just that, holding down a job of some sort, day or otherwise, which is paying for your food and shelter, I encourage you to see this era of your writing as easy-breezy Fresh Meat time.
You will never again have this degree of freedom with your work. If you get traditionally published, someone will start telling how to write and edit, and kill off this character, and roll these three into one. Possibly before they even agree to represent you! And they will give you target dates along with these demands. Your cover will be what they show you, and your opinion of it means less than nothing.
If instead you go the Indie route and are successful, you will find yourself on incredibly tight deadlines while your fans quip at you on the socials, making guesses and suggestions, and comparing you to George R.R. Martin. And your cover will look just like all the other covers in your niche genre because that’s your signal and promise as to what your book holds in store for readers.
Rather than fretting over how you aren’t published or don’t have an agent, enjoy this free, fun time. Play in the mental space and create worlds and words without the influence of anyone but yourself. And hell, have ice cream for dinner.
Yours in Theory,
The Vonn
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#153 Patron
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